https://www.facebook.com/sonia.ulrich.7/posts/10210245176552669
To hear this pondering in my voice, duration 15 minutes:
blog audio
To hear this pondering in my voice, duration 15 minutes:
blog audio
I realize I live in a bubble and this is not part of my reality. I just don't get it, in this day and age. Read this post. I casually glanced over it, then was drawn in with tears for almost every sentence in it. Tears that:
- a man would have the plan/need/desire to put something in a woman's drink
-a friend's drink no less, someone who trusts you
- the victim's shock on her face once she finds out what "her really good friend" did
-the delicate impromptu orchestration that ensued by all in the know
-the waiter pretending the card machine did not work
-the decision by a higher end restaurant to take action to notify the police and willingly host a fuss on their premise
-the women getting to witness justice served and know they did the right thing (no duh)
-other patrons in the restaurant who caught on voicing all their personal experiences with such instances (what??? Such frequency of such blatant deviancy??!!)
I seriously can not wrap my mind around it. So many questions about such a man!
-where does the drive and motivation come from before making such an elaborate plan with your "good friend" you have been grooming a relationship with for year?
-does it originate out of unworthiness or wanting a sense of control and power over something?
-is it a fetish to stick it to an unresponsive body who has no consciousness, defense or sense of pleasure?
-is there a complete block against even fathoming ANY consequences, ie a woman pressing charges or even starting rumors, much less knowing what kind of emotional hell or breakdown, trauma & shame the victim will have to endure after
-does this person hate their mother so or is getting to one-up on her?
-is this person so ashamed of their genitals that their ego can not afford to be exposed?
-how would their mother feel if she found out her son was a serial date rapist?
-does that make them psychopaths, sociopaths or narcissists, having no empathy?
-would that mean that there is, in fact a very high percentage of mentally deranged men since this is such a frequent occurrence, there is even a special nail polish invented to protect women from this pre-meditated act?
-is he so insecure that he thinks he just may have more of a chance of getting laid, hoping the woman will want him subsequently?
Highly doubtful.
At what cost would they take that risk and engage in such an act? The consequences appear much higher than the satisfaction of that 5 minute violation.
At any rate, I don't even want to touch the amount of confusion, self-doubt, pain, shame, rage, helplessness and disempowerment a woman goes through once she wakes up from such a 'date'.
As I pondered sharing my outraged lines of shock and query, I wondered what I could offer as insight or solution. I am good at complaining, yet I am also incessantly looking for the upgrade, the reframe, the healthiest perspective change. Without googling the details of date-rape drugs, I have mainly read of women not remembering leaving the bar. If they are that out of it, this is a pure cave man act. A modern day knocking the woman out with a club and dragging her home by the hair. Back then they created more babies this way. But now? Is it just the maniacal machismo or a complete inability to access vulnerability and intimacy and even worse, receive any type of love or healthy connection.
From this perspective one can step back and see the hardened little boy, who may have been shamed, blamed and put down. He may have even suffered from sexual abuse himself in his childhood or maybe ridiculed by siblings and school mates. We just don't know, all we know there is a great amount of unexpressed pain. It just does not seem fair that a woman, the victim, has to process so much of it, creating a long path back to healing with trust, self-confidence and empowerment.
What does Mr. Roger's mother say? Look to the people who are helping, look at all the helpers, who is showing up.....and appreciation returns to our guts, true compassion.
What strikes me about this story and that it was shared this swiftly with the public in this way, is that we are no longer being silent. We are speaking up, we are helping. This is the love revolution. I am so touched by all the staff taking action to stand up for this woman, even at the expense of causing a mild scene at their joint. It is that moment of unity and solidarity that brings out our humanity and that breeds hope, trust and connection.
A PRAYER
Let us a cast a spell out into the ethers, by joining me in my vision, that men feel safe in their hearts, psyches and genitals again, to wake up to honor the woman, to deeply yearn for her and know, she is an infinite mystery and a strong, yet delicate rose that needs to be handled with care. Blossom into a man who wants to stand by and protect his woman, claim her, while he gives her the space to adorn herself and adore him in return, to seduce him with her magical presence and nourish him with her fierce love.
A man who can serve his community with more depth as he has the fuel of such powerful, mystical love and who, in turn, loves to shower his woman back with sensuality and lavish care. And, as a ripple effect, this creates people who live aligned in their hearts and can speak up for the truth, for justice and allow us all to stand up for each other.
MEN, TAKE NOTE OF THIS, A WONDERFUL PIECE OF ADVICE:
#loverevolution #silentnomore #divinemasculinerising #alchemicalunion
These are my motivations for helping women heal emotional and traumatic wounds they carry below the belt, so more men have space to rise to their highest potential. For more info check out:
PS - powerful letter from victim of recent Stanford case to her rapist:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.wvKBnzgAN#.rg0rRpXe9